How I got my baby to sleep through the night by the 2nd month

Motherhood — Who knew giving birth isn’t the toughest part of ‘birthing pains’? Breastfeeding, sleepless nights, nonstop crying, panic and stress — these are the unspoken, behind-the-scenes challenges of being a first-time mom. I’ve experienced them all last September 2020. The first month was the lowest point of my postpartum experience. Felt like everything was a blur.

I did attachment parenting, as coached by my doula, pedia, lactation nurses, and all the professionals I spoke to. Feed on demand, they would always say. Baby would tell you what they need — aka crying = baby needs milk. But is that really all there is? I was desperate to get more sleep. I wanted some time alone. Some me time to reflect, breathe, and process things. But during my ‘free times’ I would wash and sanitize my breastfeeding tools (e.g. Hakaa, breast shields), take a shower, cook meals, and when it’s time to finally rest, baby is hungry again!

So I sought the help of a friend who posted an Instagram story of her 2nd baby, who was only 2 weeks older than my daughter, of her sleeping for 8-10 hours at night. I asked her how she did it.

She introduced a concept so new to me, called Babywise method. No one ever talked about it in the after birth care webinars or baby sleep workshops.

In the first 4 weeks postpartum, I got very frustrated on afternoons spent breastfeeding for 2-3 hours and her crying whenever I unlatch her from my boob. She didn’t want to sleep! I kept forcing the feed-to-sleep habit because I did not know better as a first-time mom. Baby was fussy, mommy was tired and cranky, daddy didn’t know what else to do. Our household was a mess!

And so my Babywise journey began on Kailea’s 6th week of life.

I read through blogs on US moms who went through the same struggle. I also got the e-book on Becoming Babywise to understand the principles behind parent-directed feeding (but if you don’t have time, the blogs would suffice).

To summarize what Babywise is all about, it enforces a schedule dictated not by clock nor by baby entirely, but by the parent. It requires parental assessment depending on baby’s cues (sleepy or hungry), while following a feed-wake-sleep pattern. The end goal is to give baby most or all the calories she needs during daytime, so she gets continuous, restorative sleep at night.

The table below shows our typical day when we were 6-10 weeks of age (from due date), with 8-10 feedings.

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Sample Schedule (6-10 weeks)

Important Notes

• Rule of thumb: Full feed lasts ~30 mins
• DAYTIME: Change diaper after a feed
• NIGHT TIME: Change diaper before a feed to ensure baby is roused to get full feeding (not snacking)
• Feed unswaddled during the day and swaddled at night
• Sleep Props: Nursing to sleep at the breast; rocking
• Positive sleep association: Swaddling; white noise; pacifier
• Cluster feed during the late afternoon / early evening (4-6pm) because milk quantity and quality is lower towards end of day (due to stress and tiredness)
• Witching hours really happen during early to late evening hours and babies often get whiny / fussy.
• You determine day, babies determine night.

How do you determine your morning wake time?

Just choose a time between 6-9am that works for your family and consistently get baby up to feed them. Remember that CONSISTENCY IS KEY. Your baby’s body will get used to eating at a certain time, so you are somehow helping adjust your baby’s feeding and sleeping patterns according to your preference.

Sleep Checklist

I started with these concepts and slowly saw progress. I initially thought Kailea would not take naps without being fed to sleep, but after offering her both breasts for 30-45 minutes, we pause, play a little, change diaper, swaddle, then rock to sleep. She became happier, more attentive, and satisfied overall. Learn to trust your baby! They will take your lead. Do not cement bad sleep habits.

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Other questions that I had:

1. What if baby gets overtired? How can we put her to sleep?
2. Frequent middle of the night wakings – is baby really hungry or just waking out of habit?
3. Early morning wakings (between 4-6 am). What to do? Treat as a night waking or start the day? Read this blog
4. How do I slowly wean from sleep props?
5. How do I get baby to nap independently? I tell you I still have this problem up until 5 months of age. Babies are not developmentally ready YET to take naps on their own until 4-6 months of age (as I’ve read), so any nap you get them to take on the crib at this age is already a win.

For these questions, I sought guidance online as I encountered them. My husband and I tried each of the suggestions to see what works for our baby. Don’t overwhelm yourself by reading everything all at once. Take each day slowly and remember to breathe. It won’t be easy but your baby needs you to stay consistent! You will find success eventually.

When Keia turned 11 weeks she learned to drop the 3am feeding by herself and slept through the night from 8:45pm-6:40am (that’s almost 10 hours!). Of course it wasn’t perfect. Some nights she would still wake up to feed (also when she was nearly 4 months), but for this I let her be. I still gave full feedings during the day, and if she woke up at 3am, I feed her. She goes back to sleep on her own.

If, however, you notice that it’s becoming a habit and affecting her daytime feeding patterns (i.e. instead of eating in the morning she wakes up to feed at night), slowly do night weaning by reducing the volume of milk if you’re bottle feeding (from 4oz to 3.5 to 3oz) OR reducing the time (15 mins to 12 mins to 10 mins) if you’re directly breastfeeding.

That’s it for now! I hope this post helps you get started on your sleep success and gets you your precious time back. <3